Edgar’s Marriage Problems
Jealousy and paranoia: Common marriage problems
Marriage problems vary in couples. Some are caused by other people—pertaining to the issue of a third party—while others are caused either by the husband or wife. In Edgar’s account of his first marriage, it seemed that their problems stemmed from within. Marjorie’s personality also seemed to have a major role in it.
Some common marriage problems stem from financial matters or jealousy. With Edgar and Marjorie’s marriage, it seemed to point toward the latter. At this point I would highlight that I am sharing this story by solely depending on Edgar’s written account. What transpired in their marriage was between them. I am simply the messenger.
As to how big jealousy played a role toward their divorce, Edgar pointed out the concept of conjugal jealousy paranoia. He seemed to rely on the concept to explain why he and Marjorie ended up divorced. He recalled
intimate contact with Marjorie began to wane and I began to hear such questions as, “Where are you getting it? Who was that person you were talking to? Where are you going? Where have you been?” There would be calls to the church to see if I had left yet from choir practice. One evening at home I danced down our hallway toward Marjorie sitting in the living room to show off my new boldly decorated boxer shorts. Her caustic comment was, “Who are you going to show those off to?” Marjorie’s overt behavior prevailed since 1968, which I greatly resented, and any feelings of affection I had toward Marjorie were diminishing. This resulted in a growing sense of anger within me. I had always been so careful to be proper in the presence of females, particularly when alone with them, and to be placed under suspicion without justification really angered me. I had no response to her questions because there were no answers.
Those frequent episodes of jealousy were only the beginning of their problems in marriage. Their relationship continued to suffer by disagreeing on many issues. Later, they no longer communicated with each other regarding their feelings.
When it was time for Edgar to go further in his career, he earned both a master’s and educational specialist degree. In line with this progress, he got accepted to the University of Missouri Doctoral Program, which meant he had to spend summers in Kansas City.
Edgar completed a summer, but when he came home, Marjorie told him she thought she may be pregnant. When Edgar told her it wasn’t his, she became angry. Later she would realize that she wasn’t pregnant after all, but the thought already angered Edgar. What got on his nerves was the extent Marjorie was willing to go just to keep him home.
Edgar and Marjorie’s first year of marriage problems did not stay there. Their relationship continued to worsen in the years that followed.
All the arguments that piled up since they started having marriage problems seemed to burst one evening in July 1974. Edgar and Marjorie were sitting in front of the veranda, exchanging abrasive comments. The tension went so high at the time that Edgar exploded, saying he wanted out of their marriage. To his surprise, Marjorie was quick to reply that she wanted all the property, to which Edgar agreed.
Edgar and Marjorie’s marriage would end in the finality of their divorce. However, their resentment toward each other seemed to continue even after that final verdict.
The rest of Edgar’s heartwarming story is told in my book Of Raincrows and Ivy Leaves. Feel free to leave your thoughts on this post and the book through the comment section below or via his Facebook, Goodreads, and Twitter profiles.